The reviews are in!

The Apple tablet can’t possibly be a hit! (Tip o’ the antlers to Chris Jennings via email.) Or, if you read to the end, “Apple may pull it off”! (Why is that part always at the end? The Macalope is so tired of that construction.)

When reviewing products that no one knows anything about, individuals should have to do that Jim Carrey thing where he stuck his head between his legs and moved his butt cheeks like his ass was doing the talking. Because that’s really what we’re talking about here.

Cheap shot #329

It’s only a matter of time before Android will dominate the iPhone.

Because “choice” is more important than being able to read your emails.

(Yes, it’s a cheap shot at a bug. The point is that while every technology industry analysis firm will tell you Android will win because it will offer “choice”, they fail to consider that having one thing that works real slick is better than having a choice of 50 devices that work like crap.)

Sounds about right

Do not use the phrase “sources have said” unless you can’t get any real sources to say anything.

- FakeAPStyleGuide

Histrionics lesson

This week’s Macworld piece looks at histrionics over Fake Steve, iPhone love and Apple board compensation.

Programming note: the Macalope will be off the next two weeks for the holidays.

Apple's mythical tablet

A bonus Macalope on Macworld this week, as the horny one looks at the tablet rumors.

Put down that iPhone!

This week’s Macworld piece talks about the Gadget of the Year and AT&T’s comments on iPhone use and wonders who Wall Street is to be pointing fingers.

Shocking

New incendiary research from consulting firm no one ever heard of before finds iPhone-using strawmen have Stockholm Syndrome (via Adrian Kingsley-Hughes, who finds it “interesting”).

[eye roll]

By the numbers

This week’s piece on Macworld looks at expected growth in the number of iPhone apps (every app is sacred!) and Mac market share numbers.