The Macalope

Today’s Macworld column looks at Samsung’s annual pre-announced winning.

Yesterday’s Macworld column found the Macalope astounded people are still comparing Apple to a religion. And so badly, too.

THERE IS A LITTLE PONY IN THE APPLE STORE. What the hell? A beautiful little pony, with a flowing mane, the likes of which my sister would have killed to get for Christmas when she was 7 or 8. And, NOONE is looking at this thing.

Delightful story from Frank Chimero (tip o’ the antlers to Rod Knowlton).

Nobody ever bats an eyelash when a man/Mac/antelope walks into one, either.

Humans are weird.

Happy iPad Day, everyone! While you’re waiting in line, waiting at home, or taking yours for a test drive, let’s hear from the detractors.

Grrrrr.

Edit: Strange. It seems limited to Google Reader. Anyone who has any clues, feel free to comment.

Edit 2: That’s better. Still don’t get it, but deleted two extraneous files and reinstalled WordPress.

Plush Jobs (tip o’ the antlers to Macworld:

Plush Jobs is not for children. Unfortunately he is a choking hazard. Please be 18 or older to handle Jobs responsibly.

Question: Is Apple scared of RIM? (Tip o’ the antlers to the Rat Boy via email.)

Answer: No. (Tip o’ the antlers to Daring Fireball.)

A quarter Two months early [that’s sales to-date, not as of the end of last quarter]. Just announced on the quarterly conference call, not that it’s surprising unless you’re a jackass. And you know who you are.

The Macalope is thrilled – THRILLED! – to announce that starting, well, now he’ll be doing a weekly piece for MacUser. You can read the first riveting installment here.

See? The horny one always lands upright. He’s like a furry, antlered Weeble.

The piece will largely be a weekly roundup of stories from the Macalope’s unique perspective. He’ll still be punching out a few of the usual jackasses here but, frankly, there’s going to be less of that. Truth be told, it’s simply exhausting trying to play whack-a-mole with people who simply do not care whether or not they’re accurate in their “reporting” about Apple. There are too many Todd Sullivans out there that are simply not worth the time (and the Macalope credits a number of commenters for pointing this out).

If there is a major publication that decides to let a silly pundit fly his anti-Apple freak flag, the Macalope will surely take it on. But no more generating free traffic for people whose blathering would otherwise go unheeded.

Onward and upward.

Microsoft to cancel Jerry Seinfeld ads (tip o’ the antlers to Daring Fireball).

No, seriously.

???

Can anyone explain ???

OK, the Macalope didn’t really get the ads. He chuckled a little bit at them and admired Gates’ willingness to make an ass out of himself. But as the horny one said in an upcoming interview, these were image ads and was image really Microsoft’s problem? Most of Vista’s problem has been the difficult upgrade choices it forces users to make. And the brown and furry one doesn’t know if you’ve read the papers lately, but it’s not exactly an ideal time for corporate customers to have to take on an expensive conversion from XP to Vista.

It’s a darn shame, though. Seinfeld really needed the work.

Gates, too, come to think of it.

UPDATE: ???????????? (antler tip to John Gruber, but on Twitter this time).

Here’s the money quote:

The campaign illustrates “a strong desire” among Microsoft managers “to take back that narrative,” Mr. Webster said…

That’s not taking back the narrative. That’s conceding it.