BFF

Jobs and Gates chummy at All Things Digital.

Jobs and Gates trade jests at rare joint appearance.

“PC guy is great, he’s got a big heart,” the chief of Apple Inc. said…

People let me tell you ’bout my best friend,
He’s a warm hearted person who’ll love me till the end.

Jobs, 52, and Gates, 51, reminisced about the industry and old partnerships. The tone was jovial, even sentimental, but Jobs did get in a few good-natured digs.

People let me tell you bout my best friend,
He’s a one boy cuddly toy, my up, my down, my pride and joy.

At one point, Gates said employees working on Microsoft’s Zune portable media player admired Apple for creating the market for such devices with its hugely successful iPod line.

“And we love them because they’re all customers!” countered Jobs.

People let me tell you ’bout him he’s so much fun
Whether we’re talkin’ man to man or whether we’re talking son to son.

“We’ve kept our marriage secret for over a decade now,” Jobs said, to roars of laughter.

Cause he’s my best friend.
Yes he’s my best friend.

Mac sales down! Vista to blame?!

Short answer: no.

As a teacher of the Macalope’s liked to say, “There are no stupid questions, Macalope. Only stupid people.”

Which brings us to eWeek’s Joe Wilcox who asks Did Vista Sap Mac Sales?

“Sap Mac sales”? What conference call were you listening to?

After a year of gains, Mac shipments declined during Apple’s fiscal 2007 second quarter. Is Vista a reason?

Mac shipments declined? What? No, they didn’t. They were up 36%.

Sequentially, overall Mac shipments declined 6 percent, as measured in units and dollars, between Apple’s fiscal first and second quarters.

Oh, fer…

Not the old “quarter to quarter” crap again. C’mon!

And the “years of gains” part isn’t even correct and Wilcox’s own chart shows that. You know, if you’re looking at sequential quarters — apart from asking yourself why on God’s green earth you’re doing that — you might want to actually look at the data before you make generalizations.

“Years of gains”? No. Mac sales declined slightly a quarter ago and, duh, more significantly… exactly one year ago!

But Wilcox has apparently only just heard of this “cyclicality” of which we speak.

The word from analysts: No impact. The declines are seasonable, and typical for Apple and less than fiscal 2006 second quarter.

Uh, you know, Joe, you can actually do that calculation yourself. You don’t need to call some fancy high-paid analyst. Just get the ol’ slide rule out and let ‘er rip!

What’s funny about Wilcox’s piece is the underlying “Uh… no…” tone in all the quotes he gets.

“I wouldn’t read too much into a sequential decline,” said David Daoud, manager of IDC’s personal computing and PC tracker programs.

You can almost hear Daoud scratching his head and speaking… very… slowly…

This one is better, though:

“Sales always decline from [Apple’s] Q1 to Q2 because of seasonality,” said Stephen Baker, NPD’s vice president of industry analysis. “A better question would be if the sequential decline this year was more or less than the sequential decline last year.”

“Sales always decline this quarter, you numbskull, and, uh, your question sucks.”

Now, one might argue that Wilcox only asked a question and faithfully reported the answer.

So what’s wrong with that?

What’s wrong is that the question is so misplaced. Did he really think Apple’s results were a bad thing? How could he have missed the multitude of reports that Mac sales soared? How could he have missed Apple’s stock price ripping past 100?

Astounding.

Mmm!

Another good quarter.

MarketWatch reports Apple’s earnings were up 88% in the second quarter, with sales up 20%. They womped earnings per share estimates by 36%.

Stock’s hovering at 103 in after-hours trading.

Business 2.0’s Owen Thomas is live-blogging the conference call.

The Macalope found this bit about how they’re going to account for iPhone sales interesting (well, as much as accounting can ever be interesting, anyway).

Because Apple is going to keep introducing new software features for free, it’s going to account for sales and earnings from the iPhone on a subscription basis for 24 months after the sale of a handset.

Translation: Investors should keep a careful eye on unit sales and cash flow from operations, not just GAAP revenues and net income.

Also means the company won’t have a repeat of the 802.11n enabler charge issue.

Tim Cook also claims the Leopard delay is a “one-time event”.

Also worth noting:

Apple has started to capitalize some of its software development, which has the effect of depressing apparent R&D spending. CFO Peter Oppenheimer says if you factor the capitalized software back in, R&D spending is going up.

The Macalope has made a mental note to keep an eye out for unwarranted griping that Apple’s R&D spending is going down.

Silly comment by Thomas about why Apple isn’t dropping prices as some component prices decrease:

Cook points out that Mac and iPod sales continued to grow at current prices. I think that means that Apple is not just sticking it to its suppliers, it’s sticking it to its customers, too.

Supply? Demand? Any of these things ring a bell, Owen?

UPDATE: Responding to a commenter who raises the same issue the Macalope did, Thomas says:

Clearly, keeping prices high is not hurting Apple, and executives may be hesitant to drop prices since they may not be able to raise them later if commodity prices rebound. But for now, Apple is getting away with charging customers considerably more for iPods and Macs than it’s costing Apple to make them.

What?!

Dude, that’s called margin!

Yeah, customers might not like it, but having a high margin with increasing sales? Investors eat that up with a spoon!

Perhaps the Macalope spoke too soon

Fredo Anderson says he told Jobs about options implications.

Brace yourself again, because Fred Anderson issued a statement today that says in part:

“Fred was told by Steve Jobs in late January 2001 that Mr. Jobs had the agreement of the Board of Directors for the Executive Team grant on Jan. 2, 2001,” Roth said in a statement.

“At the time Mr. Jobs provided Fred this assurance, Fred cautioned Mr. Jobs that the Executive Team grant would have to be priced based on the date of the actual Board agreement or there could be an accounting charge,” the statement said.

Anderson was told by Jobs that the board had given its prior approval and that the board would legally verify it, according to the statement, which added: “Fred relied on these statements by Mr. Jobs and from them concluded the grant was being properly handled.”

Anderson has paid $3.5 million to settle the difference in the options price from the strike date and the date they were approved and $150,000 as a fine.

But, wait… January 2, 2001?

Yes, January 2, 2001.

But Steve’s options for 2001 were granted in October, not January.

Oh. Really?

Yes. So these grants were not for Jobs, they were for other Apple executives.

Huh.

Are you still here, Billy? The Macalope just needed you as a rhetorical device. You can go now.

OK. Thanks, Mr. Macalope.

Heh. Little scamp.

Anyway, Anderson’s statement goes on to say:

With respect to the October 2001 grant to Mr. Jobs that is also the subject of the complaint, Fred had virtually no involvement as he was not a member of the Board and did not have a formal role in compensation matters pertaining to the CEO. Fred had absolutely no knowledge of any alteration of Board documents and this is reflected by the fact that he is not even mentioned in those charges.

Well, then, that just leaves Nancy Heinen and Steve Jobs. And you will remember that Jobs’ October 2001 grant was the one with the forged board meeting. And now Anderson has indicated that he already made Jobs aware of some of the “accounting implications”.

Hmm.

Now the Macalope is wondering why the SEC has decided not to go after Jobs (assuming the San Jose Mercury News item was correct) unless it’s decided to let him slide on the fact that he turned those options in, which seems unlikely.

If one is looking for comfort in this news, one might take it in the SEC’s willingness to let Anderson settle.

UPDATE: Or, maybe he didn’t: SEC statement (tip o’ the antlers to swift in comments).

The Commission also announced today that it would not bring any enforcement action against Apple based in part on its swift, extensive, and extraordinary cooperation in the Commission’s investigation. Apple’s cooperation consisted of, among other things, prompt self-reporting, an independent internal investigation, the sharing of the results of that investigation with the government, and the implementation of new controls designed to prevent the recurrence of fraudulent conduct.

Although, Apple != Jobs.

Well… at least not in the legal sense.

Another Update: Great post by Fortune’s Roger Parloff with a lot of details that the Macalope has never seen before (tip o’ the antlers to Daring Fireball).

Parloff notes that Jobs was granted new options for October of 2001 not because of the impending introduction of the iPod but simply because his existing options were under water. Still, the introduction of the iPod could be considered a significant enough event to more adequately re-associate Jobs’ compensation with the company’s performance from then on, but that’s the Macalope’s theory.

He owes it all to clean living and fancy footwork

The Mercury News says Jobs appears in the clear on options probe.

The San Jose Mercury News reported yesterday that it appears unlikely that Steve Jobs will be charged by the SEC in the options backdating scandal.

If the Macalope may riff on David Maynor (without the bad grammar), brace yourself for the flood of anti-Apple posts about why Steve Jobs is getting a free pass.

Long-time readers know the Macalope’s position on this, but there’s a substantial difference in suspecting or guessing that Steve Jobs is getting away with something and knowing that he is.

The Merc notes today that the fickle finger of fate now points to Nancy Heinen and Fred Anderson. So far this game is playing out pretty much according to Apple’s playbook.

But that’s because Apple’s an unstoppable killer marketing machine!

Whew. Aren’t you glad George Ou doesn’t cover the Apple options scandal?

UPDATE: Apple Insider sez the Wall Street Journal reports that Anderson has settled with the SEC. This is more evidence they’re unlikely to go after Jobs. Actually, it’s probably the evidence the Merc’s story was based on.

Journalists rule the world!

The Economist is teh stupid.

The Economist authors one of the stupidest pieces the Macalope has read on the options scandal (and that’s saying a lot!).

The piece pimps Larry Ribstein’s Apple Rule which states that:

The Apple Rule provides for an exception from corporate criminal liability when a popular business executive is accused of, or presides over a company that is accused of, misconduct. “Popular” is defined as “liked by journalists.”

This rule is actually just a means to an end for Ribstein, and that end is ending the criminalization of impromper backdating.

So are we going to lock up America’s most popular entrepreneurs, make untenable distinctions in who gets prosecuted, or finally understand that the criminal justice system is a wildly inappropriate way to deal with agency costs like those involved in backdating?

See, lying to your investors is just an “agency cost”!

Uh, no. The problem investors have is not with the amounts that were awarded, it’s with the fact that they weren’t disclosed.

Look, the Macalope may think that some executives are overpaid in this country, but it’s pretty much just at companies that are in the toilet, so he’s not some anti-compensation nut. He just believes that executive compensation should be properly documented and disclosed and that’s the crime we’re talking about.

Here Ribstein uncritically regurgitates the defense’s position in the Brocade case that the rule they violated was “obscure” and everything they did was “in good faith.” It’s true that in this case the defendants did not personally benefit from the improperly backdated options, but they approved scores of them and failed to report them adequately (although the defense is attempting an interesting maneuver in regard to that).

But they didn’t benefit! Well, if they’re propping up the company’s reputation by buying talent with an expensive mortgage, they could have benefitted. Also, while it’s an overblown analogy, if someone robs a bank and gives the money away, they still robbed a bank.

Getting back to the Economist, riffing Ribstein it claims that Steve Jobs has not been charged with a crime because he’s popular among journalists.

Is the basis of that premise — that he’s popular among journalists — even true? Which journalists? Surely not John Dvorak.

And even if it is, who believes U.S. attorneys really take their marching orders from journalists? Why, egotistical journalists!

Quod erat demonstrandum!

The Macalope has long subscribed the belief that the further up the journalism ladder one climbs, the more likely one is to act like one of the eponymous characters from the movie Heathers: spoiled high school girls who believe the whole world revolves around them.

Point of fact, the reason there have no charges filed against Steve Jobs is not because of his popularity. It’s probably because no one’s uncovered any evidence that he did something wrong (and please take note that this comes from a blogger who has already been on the record as suspecting that Jobs probably did do something wrong). Or it’s because Apple only finished its own investigation last quarter. Or — hey, here’s a thought — because the Bush administration recently fired Kevin Ryan, the U.S. attorney in charge of the investigation. Maybe, just maybe, the SEC and U.S. attorneys have their own set of motivations, which could include but is not limited to self promotion, timing and a wacky little thing we like to call “justice”.

Nah! It’s gotta be because some journalists likey the Steve!

The hubris on display here is truly astounding.

Still, that leaves open the question of if, and how, a business executive can get to be so popular with the media that investigators steer clear.

Wow. The editors at the Economist sure thinks a lot of their profession. In order to avoid prosecution, a CEO needs to be popular with — not shareholders, not the public, not the government — journalists.

After pumping up the importance of its own profession, the Economist concludes:

Our rule: if a criminal prosecution is likely to hurt a company’s share price, then don’t prosecute.

That’s an absurd blanket statement. God knows the Macalope’s not arguing that Steve Jobs should be sent up the river sans paddle if he were ever to be charged and convicted of attempting to increase his largesse at the expense of Apple shareholders, but Ribstein and the Economist are arguing he shouldn’t be punished at all.

There is a middle ground here and we’ve already discussed it, but the words of Alan Murray apparently bear repeating.

If Mr. Jobs participated in backdating options, he should be punished. To let him off the hook would send a terrible signal that some people are exempt from the rules or above the law.

But any punishment that hampers his ability to continue running the company would be a mistake. That is punishing the victim, and only compounds the crime.

In other words, fine him, leave him as CEO and move on.

Is the government being overzealous in its pursuit of these cases? The Macalope supposes it’s possible. But turning a blind eye to executive malfeasance isn’t exactly a solution.

The Macalope holds an inconsequential number of Apple shares.

Grand Theft Options

Founder of game company pleads guilty in options scandal.

(Sure, sure, you could see that one coming up De Anza Blvd.)

Ryan Brant, the founder and former CEO and Chairman of Take-Two, makers of Grand Theft Auto, pleads guilty to illegally covering up the backdating of options.

For those of us on Jobs options watch, there are some disturbing results here. Not only was Brant fined, but he was barred from every holding a top office at a publicly traded company again.

However, the charges were considerably different than what Jobs was involved in.

The SEC and New York prosecutors accused Brant of awarding himself 10 backdated option grants from 1997 to 2003 for a total of about 2.1 million shares of Take-Two stock, all of which he exercised before resigning from the company in October.

Looks like Brant will avoid jail, sparing himself the uncomfortable irony of having to do time with actual car-jackers.

iPod sales down

Apple reports first quarter numbers.

Nah, the Macalope’s just kidding! Ha-ha!

They’re up. Of course they’re up! They’re up 50 percent to a whopping (all references to first quarter iPod sales figures must include the word “whopping”) 21 million.

iPod sales growth year over year was down, however, from 60 percent.

But when the last people on the planet who still don’t have an iPod are either Amish or Jim Alchin, it starts getting a little difficult.

Revenue is up. Profit is up. Margins are up. Mac sales are up. Fries are up. It’s all good.

Hear, hear.

Wall Street Journal column hits the right tone on the options scandal.

Alan Murray in the Wall Street Journal (paid subscriber link) has some harsh words for Steve Jobs (“arrogant”, “draconian”) and is rightly dubious of Apple’s protestations of his ignorance in the stock options scandal (the Macalope has held off on using that word, but we can rightly call it a scandal now).

But his conclusion is spot on:

If Mr. Jobs participated in backdating options, he should be punished. To let him off the hook would send a terrible signal that some people are exempt from the rules or above the law.

But any punishment that hampers his ability to continue running the company would be a mistake. That is punishing the victim, and only compounds the crime.

Sing it, sister.

If you read the analysis that’s floating around, it’s generally the mass-market publications that are breathlessly asking “WILL JOBS SURVIVE?!” From what the Macalope’s seen, the Wall Street analysts — the guys who actually have some skin in the game — are long on Jobs.

From Murray’s lips to the SEC’s ears.

The Macalope owns an inconsequential number of Apple shares.